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A stupid thought experiment

DISCLAIMER: This is usually the kind of thing that I would keep to an AIM chat with Space, but he was having none of it this evening. It might become a more regular thing, but…probably not. So, here’s the backstory: We were discussing who we thought was most likely to win the AL pennant (I said “whoever doesn’t win the AL West,” by which I meant the first Wild Card team), when I popped up with this:

As it stands right this second, LAA would host a three-headed monster comprised of the Tigers, Rays and Orioles. (We should do a thought exercise and determine which of those teams is better, when we’re not in the middle of this thought exercise. My gut says the three teams would find a way, but damn the Angels are good and all three of the others are really flawed.)

Normally this would result in an hour-long argument about something like James Shields’ durability, but instead Space’s response was more disinterested:

Yes, we use Something Awful emotes in regular conversation. We're nerds.

So, rather than let the thread die there, I decided to bring it to you. I spent about 20 minutes putting together a 25-man roster for our strange Tiger/Oriole/Ray hybrids, limiting myself to guys who we can expect to be available in the first week of October (so no Evan Longoria, basically):

1B – Prince Fielder
2B – Ben Zobrist
SS – Jhonny Peralta
3B – Miguel Cabrera
C – Matt Wieters
RF – Nick Markakis
CF – Austin Jackson
LF – Adam Jones
DH – Jim Thome

BN – Carlos Pena
BN – Matt Joyce
BN – Omar Infante
BN – Alex Avila
BN – BJ Upton

SP – Justin Verlander
SP – David Price
SP – Jeremy Hellickson
SP – Doug Fister
SP – Jason Hammel

RP – Fernando Rodney
RP – Joaquin Benoit
RP – Jose Valverde
RP – Jim Johnson
RP – Troy Patton
RP – Jake McGee

And I have to be honest, that team is a lot more impressive than I expected it to be when I got the idea. It’s not an all-star team, or anything like that, but this team would boast one of the best lineups in the game, to go with the deepest bench, an awesome bullpen, and a fantastic one-two punch at the top of the rotation. Not only would they wipe the floor with the Angels (over the course of a season; obviously a one-game series would be a crapshoot), but I think they would be pretty comfortably the best team in baseball.

There’s a lesson here, I’m sure. I haven’t figured out what it is, but I’m sure it’s there. “Don’t do any stupid thought experiments?” That might be it.

  1. August 4, 2012 at 12:07 AM

    Want to hate the Red Sox a little more? This dream team would “only” cost $134 million in 2012. I guess, for that matter, Tigers fans should hate the fact that they’re spending similar money aren’t as good as this team. (The lesson: young, home-grown talent is grossly underpaid. Though Joyce was dumped for a guy who was eventually part of getting Jackson to Detroit, so I guess they shouldn’t be kicking themselves too hard there.)

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